8.5 Lives

Up a little later than I usually am, I went to the kitchen to close up shop for the night. When what did my wondering ears hear, but a growling, yarling cat on my front porch? So away to the back I went to grab a bat. Now I banged on the door - and a yarl and a meowr and a klikkity-clank later, the demon-possessed cat was gone. Or so I thought.

Seconds later I heard now two cats, hissing and fighting in my driveway, running this way and that. I peeked out the window to see them racing up our street at breakneck speed.

So listen here, you blog-reading, demon-possessed cats:

Don't come up around my house, late at night or any time, because I will wear you out with one of my bats and take 8.5 of your lives. This is my house, and I will rule this little part of the earth and subdue it. You might run over here, but you'll bleed back.

Funny, Creepy

I have a beloved family member who works for the Boy Scouts, but this . . . is . . . creepy.

Another Bonus to Being a Christian

ESPN.com's resident funny blogger Bill Simmons says that being a Christian can make an NBA player's career more productive. He even uses the term, "Christian years," in describing how Dwight Howard's faith is an added "bonus."

This is certainly an interesting way to calculate the athletic worth of knowing Jesus.

(Heads up: Bill's funny, but he's probably not a believer. Just trust me on this one - I've read a lot of his columns and accidentally come across some pretty inappropriate stuff. As far as I remember, though, this one's clean.)

Is This an Endorsement of the Simpsons?

Well, not exactly, but if you grew up the way I did, then you probably have been taught that the television show, The Simpsons, is evil, demonic, and just plain wrong. Not that I actually believe that.

Either way, you should check out the Simpsons Movie website, if only for the opportunity to depict yourself, your family, and your friends as Simpsons cartoon characters (this feature is found under "Create Your Own Avatar"). This is hilarious! And tons of fun!

If you're in my family - church or blood - consider yourself already Simpsonized.

"What the World Eats"

Great photo-essay on Time magazine's website showing exactly what different families of the world eat on a weekly basis.

(HT: JT)

Ask A Ninja

Seriously, if you don't think this is funny, you need to loosen up.

AskaNinja.com might even be better than homestarrunner.com. Wow.

I can't say that everything on this site is tasteful (because I don't know that for a fact) or that all of it makes sense (because it doesn't); but none of it is terrible and most of it is hilarious, which is more than we can ask for in a fallen world.

EDIT: The Ninja sure does talk about death a lot, and in silly and sarcastic terms, like it is nothing. So look for episodes that don't make light of death and murder.