Letter to a Persecuted American Family

My brother and sister,

Hey, I was getting ready to send you an email about something totally different when I realized that something R. told me tonight was indescribably encouraging. He mentioned that his sister offered to help ya'll with a down payment on a house, then added that the money came with a certain condition - that you would have no more children. This certainly meant that this family member disapproved of your life's path in any number of ways, but most likely because of missions and family size. And you turned the money down! Without a second thought! What a beautiful testimony to Jesus! He is more important than anyone's money! He is better than the so-called "wisdom" of our world!

It reminded me of Luke 6:22-23, where Jesus says, "Blessed are you when people hate you and when they exclude you and revile you and spurn your name as evil, on account of the Son of Man! Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven; for so their fathers did to the prophets." Make no mistake about it - your sister is excluding you from her money because of your choice to follow Jesus down the hard road of family-building and missions. And Jesus says that you are "blessed" - happy - because of her exclusion of you and reviling of your name. So leap for joy today, because great is your reward in heaven. You are just like the prophets! How encouraging is that?

We love you (it's amazing to see how fast God is growing your family),

B.

Our House is in Boxes, and We Have Nowhere to Go

God has been wonderfully gracious to us in this whole house-buying process. We found one we liked, it was even next-door to our friends, our offer was accepted, and we were on our way. Or so we thought.

Then the appraisal came back too low, the seller didn't want to budge, and now we're in a waiting cycle. So we have continued to pack, believing that God is able to work it out, but also knowing that He may not choose to do that. He may be doing something else. Our house is in boxes, and we have nowhere to go . . . yet.

This situation is frustrating on many levels, but for believers it should be less so. I was reminded of this yesterday as I talked to a friend, and we remembered that we are "exiles, always exiles," until our King comes to take us home.

What a glorious day! Let us sing of it! We will rejoice in that day, and let us hope for it right now.

Men Leading in the Home (and the World)

I greatly enjoyed Randy Stinson's conference sermon on men leading in the home. (I wish I had time to listen to all of these conference sermons!) It especially hit me hard because I am not regularly practicing most of the things he mentions, but I want to.

So don't be scared off. It is a wonderfully insightful application of Biblical principles by the grace of God. The Lord has been using it in our family to press us on to rely on Him more in our direction, vision, and encouragement.

Also check out Randy's article version of this talk in the Southern Baptist Seminary magazine (it's a pdf file).

Randy is the current president of The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. They have a vast and resource-filled website for thought on the theology and application of Biblical manhood and womanhood. They even have their groundbreaking, massive work, Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood online for free!

For at least three years now, God has been using CBMW's resources to move me to think Biblically and live more faithfully. I'm surprised I've never blogged on their ministry, but go check them out for faithful, Biblical exposition, especially if you struggle with these issues.

Praise the Lord for these gifts to His church!

What Will You Tell Your Boys and Girls?

A great post by Pastor John Piper got me thinking - what will you and I tell our children about men and women? How will explain how God made us? How will we explain our differing roles? What will we tell them is important about a man being a man and a woman being a woman? What will we tell them that men should not do and that women should not do? What will all this say about the God who made us so?

Now some of my questions are obviously weighted and weighty, but the question remains for you - what will you teach your children? The way that you teach and display gender roles to your sons and daughters tells them a lot about how they should view not only the world, but most importantly, God.

As Piper points out, how we understand God as masculine - yes, the Bible does use exclusively masculine pronouns and exclusively masculine descriptions of God in all three persons - matters for how we understand His character, worship, missions, gender relationships, marriage, preaching, leadership, singleness, and the Christian life, just to name a few.

So I had to ask myself, and now ask you, what will we tell our children about the way God made men and women so beautifully different and yet complementary? Our words will speak volumes toward how they will understand God Himself.

Male Leadership in the Family, Church, and Culture: Pt. 1

Last weekend, a well-loved family member brought up some thoughts about gender roles in the church, and it got me thinking all over again about the need for male leadership in the family, church, and culture. I say all three for several reasons: one, because they necessarily go together and one would be hypocrisy without the others; two, because they are generally the three spheres in which we operate; three, we men need reminders that our proper leadership is needed in all three.

It's often said that exclusively male leadership is a thing of the past, a relic of a bygone age, and a vestige of the oppression of women by the male majority. I've even heard it said, and staunchly defended, that commands in the Bible like 1 Timothy 2:12-15 apply not to every culture and age but mainly the one to whom Paul was writing. This could not be further from the truth.

When God the Holy Spirit, through His apostle Paul, wrote,

I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. Yet she will be saved through childbearing - if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.

He neither framed it as a time-sensitive command nor intend it as such. The reasoning of the context simply does not permit it. It's more straightforward and universal than that.

So God says, "I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet," then what is the reason? Why does He say such a preposterously chauvinistic thing?

Because "Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor." In couching these commands in (1) creation and (2) fall, God makes them as universal and straightforward as possible. There is no pandering to that particular culture or ours. There is no yellow-bellied wimpery in God's decree. He says, "I made man first, therefore woman cannot, by My design, be the leader."

And all who disagree - men and women - are rebelling against God. God made the man to be the servant leader of his family, church, and culture; just look at the way Jesus live and led and spoke and died. He lived and breathed the servant leadership God placed upon Him; who are we to question God's call?

Letter to a New Father

I'm really not a very experienced father. But when my friend sent me an email asking for early fatherhood suggestions, particularly how to encourage his wife, I jumped at the chance to love and encourage him and his family. I reproduce it here (minus some details) for your encouragement as well:

Brother,

Good questions to ask. The other guys probably have more insight than me, through age, experience, and godliness; but mainly I would just try to let my wife rest as much as possible, do the night shift unless it impairs your work ability (in which case you have to figure something out), make sure I'm getting off early if at all possible, and generally just looking out and looking ahead for her. Offer to make dinner, rub her feet (or whatever hurts), rent a movie, go on a date whenever she's ready to leave the little one (she'll take longer to come to that point than you).

But most of all, she just needs encouragement that God has already given her the skills and is currently giving her the strength and the grace she needs to be a good mother. That's what my wife needed to know most. So encourage her with the gospel, and when she feels like she's messed up something, give her more gospel. She doesn't have to know everything - God will take care of every little thing and cover up our many mistakes as parents. Truly He is good to those who call on Him, to those who call on Him in truth.

And go ahead and start family worship if you haven't already, even with the little one - it will encourage her that you care about your son's body and his soul, and will help her press on in her own (probably somewhat strained) devotional time. Encourage her to take time to be with Jesus on her own as well.

We love you three and are available to baby-care whenever you need us, or just for dinner, or just to get out, or just for encouragement!

Britt

The Glory of God in Family Worship

Leading Our Families to Treasure Jesus Christ by Faith
(taught last Wednesday for some of our community group men)

God is worthy of all of our worship. Ps. 117 aptly says, “Praise the LORD, all nations! Extol him, all peoples! For great is his steadfast love toward us, and the faithfulness of the LORD endures forever. Praise the LORD! “ The beginning of Ps. 145 reads,

I will extol you, my God and King, and bless your name forever and ever. Every day I will bless you and praise your name forever and ever. Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable. One generation shall commend your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts. On the glorious splendor of your majesty, and on your wondrous works, I will meditate. They shall speak of the might of your awesome deeds, and I will declare your greatness. They shall pour forth the fame of your abundant goodness and shall sing aloud of your righteousness.

I am thrilled to be able to commend to you God's own vision of His worship in the home, because it is so true and right and good and helpful and because it gives great and true glory to God. God wants His name – His very character and glory – known and treasured in families, not simply individuals, across the globe. There is a real reason that the Scriptures compare the church to the family. Family matters to God. God assumes that families will be worshiping Him. Indeed, God is deeply honored when families stop their so-called “busy-ness” to sit down together to study God's Word, sing His praises, and pray in Jesus' name.

But, in some ways, I am ashamed to have to explain and commend to you the practice of family worship. Its regular practice seems so manifestly obvious in Scripture that its wholesale decline grieves me seriously. It makes me sad to say that, as a child, neither my immediate nor extended family ever once worshiped God together in the home, though most all of them profess Christ.

Apparently, we have this artificial divide between what happens "at church" and what happens "at home." Our cultural background blinds us to the necessity of family worship. We think that "church" is there in a building, and "home" is here in our houses. But, as one professor taught me, the family is meant to be a "domestic church." This is exactly why the New Testament compares a church to a family! If the family wasn't worshipping God, how would this comparison work? Therefore, all of the Bible's instruction about church and worship can rightly be applied to the family.

The Bible speaks often of family worship. Tonight, we will look at the two key OT passages and note some NT support in closing, and I pray that God would write these words on your hearts and teach you how to apply them specifically in your family context.

Deut. 6:4-9

"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. 5 You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might 6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

So we note a few things here: first, the opening line calls for spiritual hearing because of God's unity. Second, we are told to love God with our entire being. Then third, His words are to be on our hearts. Fourth, the very next application is that we would teach God's words to our children at all times - lying down, rising up, sitting, and walking - and have them written all over our minds and hands and houses. This, then, is truly a vision of the full-on, life-consuming enjoyment of God.

Ps. 78:1-12

1 A Maskil of Asaph. Give ear, O my people, to my teaching; incline your ears to the words of my mouth! 2 I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings from of old, 3 things that we have heard and known, that our fathers have told us. 4 We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the LORD, and his might, and the wonders that he has done. 5 He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children, 6 that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, 7 so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments; 8 and that they should not be like their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation whose heart was not steadfast, whose spirit was not faithful to God. 9 The Ephraimites, armed with the bow, turned back on the day of battle. 10 They did not keep God's covenant, but refused to walk according to his law. 11 They forgot his works and the wonders that he had shown them. 12 In the sight of their fathers he performed wonders in the land of Egypt, in the fields of Zoan.

Note two main things here:

• the purpose of the teaching - that children and children's children and unborn children would put their hope in God (v. 5-7)
• the effects of not teaching your children - these often omitted verses show that untaught, unbelieving children will turn back in the day of battle (v. 9-12)

Now we turn briefly to some supporting verses in the New Testament. Though there are many, we will only note three.

• Eph 6:4 "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."
• 2Ti 3:15 "and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus."
• Acts 20:20f "how I did not shrink from declaring to you anything that was profitable, and teaching you in public and from house to house, testifying both to Jews and to Greeks of repentance toward God and of faith in our Lord Jesus Christ."

These verses point out that Paul tells us to raise our children by teaching them about the Lord Jesus, that Timothy read the Scriptures as a child, and that Paul and the apostles taught in houses. So why wouldn't we?

Application
So this necessity of family worship is written on your heart, now what? These notes have proved helpful to me:

1. Keep it simple.
This means in time, parts, and manner. Keep the same time (after dinner, before bed, after breakfast, etc), the same order (Bible, prayer, song, etc.), and the same speech (simple, God-honoring, applicable).

2. Keep it short.
At least at first, it is hard even for adults to get used to 30-45 minute Bible studies late in the evening. Yes, this is more important than television, but no, we don't want to bludgeon our families with Greek exegesis of Hebrews. Believe me, I tried.

3. Keep pressing on.
Starting and continuing family worship, especially from the historical-cultural places from which we come, is difficult. I've found it, indeed, quite difficult. Sin, Satan, and silliness will try to keep you from worshiping Jesus together with your family. Don't give in; and don't let anyone but God win in your family. There really is nothing our enemies would rather see than our families drifting away from God into weak affections and unbelief. When you mess up and forget, or forget to plan, just admit it, ask God and family for forgiveness, and press on. Persevere. “God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work,” (2 Cor. 9:8). Let us press on together, brothers. God is infinitely worthy and infinitely sufficient.

Final Notes
You may have situations - work, school, unexpected occurences - that don't allow for this kind of practice every night, but try to do it every night that you can. And once you have this written on your heart, God will remind you and show you and give you the urge to carry it out. Remember, God is able to make all grace abound to you, including the grace to lead and serve your family in worshipping Him together.

Tom Ascol sums it up like this:

Make family worship a priority. Don’t let pride keep you from asking for help. Ask men and women who are doing it to give you suggestions. Get Don Whitney’s booklet on the subject (now available as a message on CD, as well) and read it together. Don’t be intimidated with unrealistic goals or visions of what family worship ought to be. Start simple. Read the Bible, sing a song or a chorus or a verse of a song, and pray. Then do it again the next day. Recognize that there will be days that you are not able to worship together as you like. Recognize that there wiil be days that you are able and you simply choose not to due to laziness, neglect or blatant sin. When that happens, repent, believe the Gospel, and start over, and do that the rest of your life. Once you incorporate family worship into the regular pattern of your life, don’t let house guests divert you from your schedule. Include them, or at least invite them to join you. Evangelism happens during such times. So does discipleship. Your example and testimony can be powerfully used by God in the lives of others who witness it.

One final helpful point: Your formal times of family worship (where you sit down together after dinner, for instance, to read the Bible and pray and sing to Jesus) will drive your informal times of conversation and worship (like conversing as you walk with your children, or talking before bed, or breaking into song). And those are wonderful and glorious as well, because all believers want their entire lives to be filled with songs and meditations and prayers from and through and to Jesus Christ. And so we desire for our families as well. May the God of glorious grace make it so. He is more than able.

Web Resources:
Vision Forum Ministries - a wonderful website and ministry dedicated to "rebuilding the Christian family, one household at a time."

John Gill's commentary on Deut. 6:7

Matthew Henry's commentary on Psa 78:1-8

Pastor Tom Ascol on Family Worship

Joe Thorn on Family Worship

Between Two Worlds - The Key to the Spiritual Health for Your Family

Books:
Family Worship by Donald Whitney
Thoughts on Family Worship by J.W. Alexander
The Godly Family by various authors
The Bible and the Closet by Thomas Watson and Samuel Lee (see the very back for “The Family Altar”).

God-Centered Lessons from Ray Ortlund, Sr.

Thanks to JT's blog, I learned of the recent death and heavenly happiness of the Jesus-loving pastor, teacher, and writer, Ray Ortlund, Sr, and subsequently found his grandson's "lessons learned." The whole thing is a gem, and I have copied most of it (with slight reformats) here:

My grandfather is, with a few possible exceptions, the most remarkable man I’ve ever known. As my dad put it yesterday, he is the definition of a godly man. If I could choose words from all the hundreds of languages of the world, I would never come close to communicating the weight of what my grandfather has taught me about God and faith and "going hard after God," as he would say. And I know only one language. But despite the frustration of not adequately doing justice to God's abundant work of grace in his life, I list eight things I've learned from Grandpa--and am still learning.

My goal in listing these is not to erect a picture of a perfect man (which would only discourage us), but to “consider the outcome of his way of life, and imitate his faith.” I want others to feel the weight of what God did with this very ordinary man and, with me, to be stirred up. This is not exalting a man instead of Jesus, but exalting a man because of Jesus. Grandpa is the last person who would want his own name to overshadow that of Christ.

1. The Centrality of Love: when he came and spoke to the pastors of Missouri Presbytery of the PCA in 2004, with the chance to pick any text he wanted, he chose John 13: "A new commandment I give you: that you love one another." It was vintage Grandpa when halfway through his message he stopped and instructed the guys present to go around and tell their brothers that they loved them. A simple "I love you" from one pastor to another, face to face. Imagine!

2. The Importance of Joy: Nothing was more tragic, to Grandpa, than a morose believer. He was himself one of the happiest people I've ever known, and that is not without a good deal of heartache of his own.

3. The Bible as Food: Grandpa did not read the Bible mainly for information, but to feed his soul. In one of his books he writes, "You don’t get food for your soul by osmosis! You can hear others talk of it; but until you yourself regularly take in that delicious Word of God, you’re undernourished!” I possess a Bible of his from the late 80's - every page is marked. Including 2 Chronicles and the second half of Joshua.

4. The Critical Place of Prayer: Often we would be together as a family and Grandpa would say, “Let’s stop and pray about this.” And there was no spiritual gamesmanship with the man--just honest, earnest talking to and pleading with the Lord.

5. The Secret Value of Repentance and Humility: One evening in Nashville when we were together as a family Grandpa had been telling me about how Fuller Seminary started in his church, and mentioned some of the big-wigs involved. The next morning, the first thing he said to me was: "Dane, I need to apologize to you about something. I was putting myself forward last night when I was talking about Fuller and those guys, and it was prideful, and I want to tell you I'm sorry and ask you to forgive me. I don't want to be a self-promoter." He was 82, had spoken to crowds of 100,000 in India, had had an interational radio ministry, and written over 20 books. And he wanted to apologize to his grandson for being a self-promoter.

6. The Importance of Loving My Wife: In 2004, sitting in a booth at Chili's in St. Louis, Grandpa gave me a stinging rebuke for not studying Scripture with my wife. That day was a turning point for our marriage.

7. The Incomparable Worth of Singlemindedness: Some of Grandpa's favorite phrases were “tiger for Jesus,” “great exploits in Jesus’ name,” “there’s nothing in life outside of Jesus,” and “go hard after God.” He was a tiger for Jesus, he did great exploits' in Jesus' name, and he did go hard after God. He also eschewed normalcy. He wrote: “Your danger and mine is not that we become criminals, but rather, that we become respectable, decent, commonplace, mediocre Christians. No rewards at the end, no glory—“saved; yet it will be like an escape through fire” (1 Cor. 3:15)! The twenty-first-century temptations that really sap our spiritual power are the television, banana cream pie, the easy chair, and the credit card. Christian, you will win or lose in those seemingly innocent little moments of decision.”

8. Strength in Weakness: Grandpa exemplifies the counterintuitive biblical truth that when we are weak, then we are strong. He was dyslexic and therefore a very slow reader, often felt huge waves of insecurity, and wrestled with what he called an "inferiority complex" early on in life. Yet God used him remarkably, and I believe it was not in spite of his weaknesses but because of them. They forced him to yield himself to the Lord in utter dependence. And I take much consolation in that, as a weak person myself. Grandpa knew that to say “I don’t have what it takes” is exactly what it takes.

I summarize the life of this man with Jesus' words to Peter in Matthew 16: “For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” Grandpa lost his life. And therefore found it.

I love you, Grandpa. Thank you for exalting and enjoying Christ and Christ alone. What a work of grace he did in your life. The joy was yours. The honor was his. The blessing is ours. I can't wait to enjoy the new earth with you.

What a testimony to leave his children and grandchildren! What lessons we all should learn! Let us aspire in Christ to such faithful, Biblical, sacrificial lives by the power of His Spirit!

Proverbs 19:14

"House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers,
but a prudent wife is from the LORD."

Husbands, let us encourage ourselves and our wives today with this truth:

while God gives us many gifts through the hands of others,
He gives our wives directly from His own hand,
and no one else can take credit for their good prudence.

I am thankful to God alone for my wife.

The Dangerous Book for Boys

This book looks awesome, and subtly hilarious. Check out the interview at the bottom, too. I want to get this for me, before we have our boys.

Update: Al Mohloer blogs on the book.

It's High Time You Learned of the AFA

The American Family Association is a wonderful, God-honoring organization that is working for the restoration of family (read, Biblical) values in our country. Their website says:

AFA is for people who are tired of cursing the darkness and who are ready to light a bonfire. We are a non-profit (501(c)(3)) organization founded in 1977 by Don Wildmon. The American Family Association represents and stands for traditional family values, focusing primarily on the influence of television and other media – including pornography – on our society.

AFA believes that the entertainment industry, through its various products, has played a major role in the decline of those values on which our country was founded and which keep a society and its families strong and healthy. For example, over the last 25 years we have seen the entertainment industry "normalize" and glorify premarital sex. During that time we have suffered a dramatic increase in teen pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases such as AIDS and abortion as a means of birth control.

We believe in holding accountable the companies which sponsor programs attacking traditional family values. We also believe in commending those companies which act responsibly regarding programs they support.

AFA supporters receive a monthly letter about a specific issue with a recommended action such as sending a postcard or making a phone call. In addition, supporters receive the AFA Journal with news on various moral and family issues.

Check them out. Sign up for the emails. It's simple to get involved by writing e-letters to politicians, companies, and media outlets. The most current issue is House Resolution 254, a bill that's trying to give homosexuals special status under the law, but there are always things coming up in our ever-darkening world.

Those who love Jesus are called to love His light and walk in it, shining Him to expose the darkness along the way (Ephesians 5:1-15). As Micah 6:8 says,

He has told you, O man, what is good;
and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God?